Question
I include this question because I think it's more common than we'd like to believe. The answer also pertains to deaths where someone was responsible directly or indirectly for the death.
In this case, there was an error in the manufacture of a medication the person who died was using. This discovery was made 5 months following the death. The question is what do you do with this kind of anger?
Answer
I'm so sorry. I don't blame you for being angry. I'd be angry too. All I can say is feel it and stay with your grief which at 5 months is probably at it's peak.
It sounds like there might be legal issues here (class action perhaps?), but you probably don't need to distract yourself with that right this moment. It'll still be there if you need to go that route later on. The real problem is getting distracted by this issue rather than staying with the grief.
Hope this helps,
Susan
Some may have trouble with this answer. This kind of anger can be all consuming and we can feel so justified in it that it becomes a substitute for the person who died. Clinging to the anger or to the idea that a legal judgment will bring a sense of "closure" tends to be counterproductive because it stalls the grieving process.
I would venture to say the majority of people who get caught up in this do not experience closure through any legal judgment even when that judgment is in their favor. What they have in the end is their grief and the loss that caused it.
So here's what I recommend...
Feel the anger but don't latch on to it like some kind of drug. Stay with your grief which will still be all over the map, and let someone else (a friend, relative or lawyer) tend to the legal matters until you are more healed in your grief. Then you can deal appropriately with the legalities without creating a situation in which you have prolonged your grief . You also avoid setting yourself up for a huge disappointment and renewed grief when the legal process does not bring the closure you seek.
