Question

Does it really take two years to get through it?  My mom passed away 4 months ago, and I feel like it just happened yesterday.

Answer

There is no set amount of time grief should take. It varies quite a bit from person to person. For some a year is enough. For others it can take much longer. 

Even though it often lasts for over a year, it's not the same throughout. When we stay open to the grief, our experience will be all over the map...sadness, anger, laughter, tears, relief, fear, longing. Some describe it as a roller coaster. The point is that normal, healthy grief makes us feel unstable at best. 

At 4 months your loss is still very new and I would expect it to feel like is just happened. You're actually right on target. Typically, the time between 3 months and 9 months is the hardest because it's when the full reality of the loss kicks in. 

I would really encourage you to buy the book. It goes into detail about this and many other normal grief reactions. 

I would also encourage you to find a support group. This is the time you need support the most.

Take good care,

Susan