Question
im 13 i recently lost my grandad and im finding it hard sometimes and others not but i feel like his in the back off my mind all the time but shouldnt he be at the front im scared im goong to forget him or that i am 4getting him and i cannot do that ! is this normal??????????????
Answer
I'm so sorry about your Granddad. Sounds like you were close to him.
Everything you described sounds absolutely normal...the cycles of grief, the fear you'll forget him...all absolutely normal.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve so just let your grief guide you. I know that may sound kind of strange but it really does get you through it. It's often when we fight it that grief gets really hard.
As for forgetting him...you won't.
Did you think about him every moment when he was alive? Even with people we love very, very much, we don't think about them every minute of every day.
Some things you can do to help you remember...
Talk about him...share your memories with other family members, your friends (though most 13 year olds don't have much experience with death), his friends if you know them. You get the idea. Sharing the stories of his life and your relationship to him is one of the most healing things you can do.
Write...writing is a wonderful way of making sense of things that are new or that we don't fully understand. I usually recommend keeping journals private but it's up to you what you share.
Create a memory book...a scrapbook or photo album to hold your memories so if you do feel like you're forgetting him you'll have the memory book to remind you.
I hope this helps.
Take good care,
Susan
im 13 i recently lost my grandad and im finding it hard sometimes and others not but i feel like his in the back off my mind all the time but shouldnt he be at the front im scared im goong to forget him or that i am 4getting him and i cannot do that ! is this normal??????????????
Answer
I'm so sorry about your Granddad. Sounds like you were close to him.
Everything you described sounds absolutely normal...the cycles of grief, the fear you'll forget him...all absolutely normal.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve so just let your grief guide you. I know that may sound kind of strange but it really does get you through it. It's often when we fight it that grief gets really hard.
As for forgetting him...you won't.
Did you think about him every moment when he was alive? Even with people we love very, very much, we don't think about them every minute of every day.
Some things you can do to help you remember...
Talk about him...share your memories with other family members, your friends (though most 13 year olds don't have much experience with death), his friends if you know them. You get the idea. Sharing the stories of his life and your relationship to him is one of the most healing things you can do.
Write...writing is a wonderful way of making sense of things that are new or that we don't fully understand. I usually recommend keeping journals private but it's up to you what you share.
Create a memory book...a scrapbook or photo album to hold your memories so if you do feel like you're forgetting him you'll have the memory book to remind you.
I hope this helps.
Take good care,
Susan
