Question
Its been almost 2 yr, thought I was doing o.k. Lately the grief has come back more painful than it has been for awhile. Thought I had made such progress.
Answer
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
You didn't give me a lot of information so it's hard to say precisely whether your experience is unreasonable.
Grief can take a long time. There are a number of reasons grief might take longer than you'd expect.
• The death was unexpected, accidental or unusually traumatic
• The relationship with the person who died was complicated or difficult
• There were things left unsaid
• Trying to avoid the grief
• Feeling a pressure from others to move on
These are just a few general explanations, but grief really can take a long time. It also changes over time, sometimes quite dramatically...waves and roller coasters are frequent descriptions.
I know it sounds counterintuitive but the easiest and fastest way through it is to let it lead you.
I would encourage you to get the book. It's appropriate for anyone who's actively grieving no matter how long ago the loss.
I would also encourage you to find a support group. Your local hospice, funeral home or clergy can probably give you a referral.
Take good care,
Susan
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